Once in a while I like to entertain myself by playing a mental casting game for biographical movies that will certainly never make it to the silver screen in any way, shape, or form. Prior to the announcement of the ill-fated Freddie Mercury biopic, I had actually become obsessed with imagining which actor could convincingly portray such a larger than life personality like the legendary Queen frontman. One day it hit me out of the blue that the ideal, and honestly, only candidate was comedic genius Sacha Baron Cohen. In a rare instance of one of my delusions becoming a (near) reality, it was eventually announced that Baron Cohen was set to play the legendary singer in a big budget movie to be produced by Queen guitarist Brian May. Sadly, SBC left the project due to those pesky creative differences and (sing it with me) another one bit the dust.
Which brings us to tonight's first national debate between Hillary "Pantsuits Magee" Clinton and Donald "D-Bag" Trump that, thanks to one of the candidate's class and well-honed expertise in such matters, was far from being the full-on shitshow many had anticipated but still had plenty of, shall we say, unpresidential behavior from the opposition. The controversies and scandals plaguing both campaigns have made the 2016 election the ugliest political contest of the modern era which, naturally, makes it prime fodder for a feature-length theatrical film or an HBO original movie. After all, truth is stranger than fiction, but regarding this election, strange is an understatement.
As cinema history can attest, casting an iconic president, senator, or first lady is a tricky balancing act. Typically casting directors don't hire lookalikes per se but rather a performer (generally an already recognizable one) whose own features are somewhat similar to that of the historic figure they are portraying. If we look solely at recent casting choices for biopics or movies that detailed or satirized real-life political figures, John Travolta seemed a bizarre choice to play good ol' boy turned President and (hopefully) future First Dude Bill Clinton in Mike Nichols' PRIMARY COLORS, yet with a touch of gray in his hair and a southern accent replacing his characteristic Brooklyn dialect, he was actually pretty convincing. Same with Josh Brolin in Oliver Stone's overtly biased but still hilarious W. who nailed George W. Bush's awkward mannerisms and no-quite-presidential demeanor. Ditto Kevin Spacey who, in ELVIS MEETS NIXON, the film festival hit now streaming on Amazon, proves that the man can not only play the murderous President Underwood in Netflix's superb series "House of Cards" but can also deliver a solid and surprisingly subtle turn as Richard M. Nixon.
This year's presidential candidates have both been given the full-on "Saturday Night Live" treatment as hysterically accurate caricatures by gifted comedians such as Amy Poehler, Kate McKinnon, and Darrell Hammond, surprise cameo appearances, or in the case of Trump, actual hosts. Both contenders have been funny and likable when given good material to work with. On their own, not so much. When it came to casting Hillary opposite Travolta in PRIMARY COLORS, no one would have ever thought British actress and screenwriter Emma Thompson, who is also very funny herself, could play the First Lady much less look like her, she was a great match for Travolta's confident, cocksure, Clinton. The events featured in Nichols' adaptation of the infamous book detailing Slick Willy's rocky but successful bid for the presidency seem like a medley of GREASE numbers compared that of Ms. Clinton's second attempt at becoming the U.S.'s first ever woman president, a potential milestone that continually gets lost amidst all the fingerpointing and hate speech.
Here are my choices for who should play the two candidates. Ladies first.
Annette Bening would make a great Hillary. She exudes class, intelligence, maternal strength, inner fortitude, and she has stolen the spotlight from many of her male co-stars. Name one movie she was bad in. Exactly. Note to the Academy: give her an Oscar already. Like Mrs. Clinton herself, she is long overdue.
Trump is a much more difficult role to cast in that he is such a cartoon-like character that is one part egomaniacal real estate tycoon and the other an Archie Bunker-esque brute with a hairpiece that defies the immutable laws of gravity as well as a shade of orange that has never once been associated with an upright mammal capable of walking without dragging its knuckles.
Like Trump, Alec Baldwin is also a New Yorker, he has a bit of Zoolander's Blue Steel pout that has served him quite well through his eclectic career, and his multiple Emmy wins for his performance as Jack Donaghy on "30 Rock" proved he can be powerful, self-aggrandizing, and an all-around doofus at the same time. Plus his iconic monologue from his single scene in GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS could be dubbed over any of Trump's bombastic speeches and have the same ruthless, bullying, effect. So start mainlining Trump steaks and break out the orange hairspray, Mr. Baldwin. Your performance would be huuuuuuge.
A column dedicated to the must-see original movies and binge-worthy series currently streaming on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and other channels .
Netflix's extraordinary original series "Narcos" chronicles the violent exploits of Pablo Escobar and the agents from the Drug Enforcement Agency's painstaking attempts to capture the notorious Colombian drug lord and bring him to justice. If the premise sounds like something you've seen in various other movies on small and big screens alike (Steven Soderbergh's excellent TRAFFIC for one) think again. "Narcos" gives equal time to both sides of the bloody chess game that is the world of drug trafficking cartels. This is not SCARFACE redux by any means rather it is a deliberately paced and suspenseful (sometimes agonizingly so) procedural detailing not just the headline-grabbing events of the horrifying events during Escobar's reign in Medillan but also the red herrings and cold trails the DEA agents endured during the turbulent years spent hunting him down.
The series, whose second season recently premiered, is narrated by Steve Murphy (Boyd Holbrooks from GONE GIRL and MILK) the real-life DEA agent who, working alongside his partner Javier Pena (Pedro Pascal from "Game of Thrones,") is stationed in a dreary sub-level government office located right smack in Bogota, Colombia. He recounts the events with a wizened and sometimes even sarcastic tone as he brings viewers behind the scenes into the baffling maze of grueling detective work done amidst the infuriating bureaucratic red tape that hurled roadblocks in the agents' path as they zeroed closer and closer to the diabolically elusive Escobar (the excellent Brazilian actor Wagner Moura from ELYSIUM.) Though the actual Steve Murphy presented in photographs during the opening credits sequence was a very bland looking fellow, Holbrooks is an extremely charismatic actor reminiscent of Brad Pitt before he became an A List movie star. Besides the dull and harrowing nature of his occupation, Murphy also has his own personal drama to contend with as his own life is at risk on a nearly daily basis evading gunfire and car bombs while he is thousands of miles away from his wife and newborn daughter. His partner Javier is more of lone wolf operative whose Mexican heritage allows him to cross the boundaries between agents and cartel thugs more stealthily though his dogged determination places him literally in the crosshairs on more than one occasion.
Though he is clearly the villain, Escobar (known by his henchmen and allies as El Patron) is the true central character of "Narcos" and Moura, along with the series'creators Carlos Bernard, Chris Brancato, and Doug Miro, has created a multidimensional figure of a man who is nowhere near the scheming, cocaine-snorting, crime lord that we've all seen a thousand timesover. Rather, this Escobar is a man whose very nature is very complex and contradictory as he goes from poor migrant worker to multi-billionaire yet even at the peak of his reign as Colombia's cartel czar he dresses as if he shops at a Ross Dress For Less. Wearing his trademark short-sleeved business shirts and drab polyester pants, Escobar uses his vast wealth to provide a luxurious lifestyle for his devoted wife Tata and adoring two children and even his mother Hermilda who refuses to see the devil's horns hiding underneath the halo her angelic son wears. Though he has a brief dalliance with a glamorous local news reporter, Escobar's main vice is fame and the inherent delusions of grandeur as he begins to see himself as more than just a dreuglord but someone who could represent the best interests of his adoring public and beloved hometown of Medillin, and perhaps even be elected as president of Colombia. Like a certain U.S. presidential candidate who has cast himself as the true voice of the American people, Escobar's noble ambitions are overshadowed by his gargantuan ego and narcissistic tendencies. Moura's personification is enhanced by his baby-faced visage as Escobar never stops being the boy who will always need more toys to play with.
While the first season of "Narcos" ends with a real cliffhanger, Season Two is more of a satisfying and conclusive. Just like the real war on drug cartels that tragically rages on, however, there are plenty more bad guys for Murphy and Pena to catch and Netlfix's announcement of a third season is great news for fans of high quality television that continues to outshine its big screen competition.
A bi-monthly roundup of flicks currently available at The Box that may or may not be worth your time.
KEANU (2016) - The genius stars of Comedy Central's "Key & Peele" kick off what is sure to be a very successful movie career for its stars Michael Keegan-Key and Jordan Peele with this hilarious action-comedy about two mild-mannered dudes who try to pass themselves off as notorious gangsta thugs when their cat Keanu is stolen by a nefarious crime lord. Just like the duo's high-rated sketch show the actors play multiple characters as they spoof urban stereotypes and 80s-style action-movie tropes. With any luck we'll eventually get to see cinematic incarnations of Peele's bad cop ventriloguist dummy Lil' Homie and Key's phonetically-challenged substitute teacher.
THE BOSS - Melissa McCarthy hits bottom, and I mean rock bottom, with this jaw-droppingly unfunny comedy about Michelle Darnell, an egocentric Martha Stewart-esque mogul whose net worth goes kerplunk after an insider trading scandal brings her empire crashing down. When she gets out of the slammer Darnell is forced to adjust to living on limited means but discovers a chance to rebuild her brand via a hostile takeover of a local Girl Scout cookie operation. The set-up has lots of potential for MCarthy's trademark schtick but it's attempts to mix broad comedy and syrupy sweetness crumble like a stale Thin Mint.
THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE - The biggest surprise about this animated adaptation of the massively popular (and addicting) app is that it's actually pretty funny. You don't necessarily need to have ever played any of the endless incarnations of the game that pits the projectile poultry against evil egg-coveting green piggies but if the idea of fat colorful birds catapulting themselves towards various porcine-populated dwellings is your thing then there are far worse ways to burn 90 minutes of unproductive leisure time.