This is my first time on Blogger so...welcome! I feel like I should be wearing one of those name tags that informs the reader that I'm still in training. Nevertheless, here goes something.
Recently, I started writing freelance for Girls Gone Wild magazine (yes, you read that right.) After writing a soon-to-be-published article on what not to do at a bachelor party in Vegas (what, you were expecting a sobering analysis on 2009's economic forecast?) I was commissioned to write a piece on college fraternities that have been banned in the U.S.A. After being told my first go was too "textbooky" and didn't contain any of my "voice," I submitted two more rewrites, which were ultimately deemed not "edgy" enough for publication. Apparently, if the story doesn't end with a guy getting his rocks off or two girls going at it, then it's not quite right for the faithful GGW readers. Anyhow, the beat goes on, but I though I'd let you read the article for yourself and you can tell me if you think it's something you'd read on an airplane, StairMaster, or even in everyone's favorite "reading room" in their house. Enjoy!
Buzzkill: How Some College Fraternities Got Banned
College fraternities. When most people hear that phrase they usually conjure up images of toga-clad frat boys and naked sorority babes running amok a la the collegiate comedy classic “National Lampoon’s Animal House.” As most of us know, though, movie college and real college are two wholly different things. For instance, in real college, you actually have to study. When I started out as undergrad back in…well, let’s just say that Girls Gone Wild was merely a gleam in Joe Francis’ eye, I went to a liberal arts school in downtown
Now, it’s no surprise that college students loves them some beer – after all, what is college but a four-year drinking binge disguised as aspirations for higher learning? So when the news reports about the occasional fraternity pledge o.d.’ing due to excessive amounts of alcohol, it doesn’t seem very shocking. What is shocking, however, is what happens after the keg has been tapped, like in 2002, when members of Sigma Alpha
Epsilon and Delta Kappa Epsilon at
In other cases, it’s not so much the alcohol itself as what’s going in it that is the problem. In 2005, nine female
Even consensual sexual escapades have landed certain chapters in hot water. It’s no secret that college students are avid porn fans, but in 2005, members of Phi Kappa Tau at Cal State-Chico were suspended for actually participating in a skin flick shot on campus. The “Shane’s World” DVD series based in
Now when it comes to pledge-hazing, we’ve all heard the urban legends. You know, like the infamous, and bizarrely homoerotic, thumb-up-your-neighbors-butt “classic” known as “The Elephant Walk” or the God-awful-sounding “Ookie Cookie” where a group of frat members masturbate onto a cracker and…well, you get the idea. While the line between fully committing to the brotherhood and competing on an episode of “Fear Factor” gets blurred beyond oblivion, the most severe cases of pledge-hazing are
If you think hazing is a thing of the past, think again. Earlier this year, ten Pi Kappa Alpha members at
And just this past May, a sorority member’s death due to an overdose of cocaine at
And let us not forget my personal favorite Hall of Shame-worthy campus caper: in 2006, the Alpha Gamma Rho chapter at
So, guys, take it from someone who survived college without ever once having to scrub the cafeteria floor with a toothbrush, much less being turned into a human Port-A-Potty - if you’re a college dude and you really want to belong to a group, here’s one to strive for: the graduating class! However, if pulling a train on a farm animal or having piping hot liquids poured on your nuts is your idea of group bonding, then be my guest. Me, I’ll just take my lil’ Bachelor of Arts degree as my parting gift and just be thankful that I made it out after four years alive and with all my body parts – and my dignity- fully in tact.
~ T.W. Porrill